...As time goes by..........

It's been years. Too many, in fact. At least that's what everyone who's heard your story say.

Time has flown. To me, it was only yesterday. The pain, in fact, remains the same.

I should be fed up of all this shit. I know it. 'It must be exhausting', some people say. A friend told me once, nobody had ever felt so much, so deep. And it's sad. But IT IS. That's the only way I conceive things. That's the only way I keep things in mind. Though I know my thoughts are completely dead. If they weren't there, life would be even....... I don't know. Useless, probably.

I hate to own that stupid idea of myself being alive only because you want to. Only because of you. It's everything so twisted.

Everybody knows when a feeling ends, at least for one of the parts, the whole universe we once created for the other one, turns against us. The adorable, enlightened places we used to go to suddenly turn into darkened woods. The songs, the books and the movies laugh back at all our pain... The strings now choke instead of softly strum.

Even the same sun that used to lighten up all of our dark old days, now has become unbearable. Every single membring hurts. And why......? All because of that sudden silence.

Let's now blame time. Or people form the outside. Every one who has bumped accidentally in our way. Or let's just be truthful to each other. And simply blame you and me. Nobody else.

And after that...what are we.....or at least me... What am I supposed to do with all these years of rotten feelings, getting bigger each second that passed by..? What am I supposed to say to each and every single person whom I've hurt even more each time..? Should I just gather with all of them and lightly tell them it's all your fault? Or even mine..?

Why is forgetting so impossible to me? Why is there no fucking cure for this so long cursed pain...................